OCD is quite a odd subject for me, I’ve never really acknowledged it or really talked about it to people in case they thought I was odd or just making things up.
It wasn’t till the other week when a few people were tweeting about it that I joined in and spoke about some things I did, and how it effects my everyday life. For me my compulsotions get worse when I’m being more and more ill and my mind relaxes a bit when I become more stable.
My main thing is about numbers, and that’s even numbers. Everything I do is based around that, from the number of drinks I have, buying food, how many times I check the door when locking up, how many steps I take, how steps and even right down to how many tea bags I use to make my tea with.
If I don’t get a even number then there’s that overly nagging thought that something bad is going to happen or has happened and it grows and grows to I deal with it by making it up to that even number, it’s all quite hard to explain even putting it down to writtening.
To family living with me, they think it’s just me being ‘quirky’, nothing I do anymore surprises them (joys of mental illness) but to others it’s ‘that’s quite weird’ but I guess it’s something to live with and to try and come with.